NEW MONSTER: Scrapeworm

No. Appearing: 1d4
Armor Class: Light (slimy hide + low Dexterity); scrapeworms take half damage from bludgeoning weapons.
Hit Dice: 12d12 (78 hp), saves as a fighter
Movement: Half as fast as a normal human; scrapeworms can burrow through earth at their normal speed.
Morale: High
Attack: Lumpen fist +6 (1d6 damage) or Tentacle +6 (1d4 damage+grab attempt, 10 feet reach)
Discorporation: A scrapeworm can separate its body into a swarm of wriggling filaments, one for each hit point it currently has. In this state, a scrapeworm can squirm through any sized opening and burrow through dirt, mud, and soft earth at double its normal speed. It takes one action to discorporate but a full round to reform.
Engulf: Scrapeworms feed by partially discorporating and enveloping the intended prey. The target of this attack must succeed a Dexterity saving throw or be immobilized inside the scrapeworm. Every subsequent round, the target takes 1d10 damage as the scrapeworm begins digesting them.
Not of this World: When a scrapeworm is reduced to 0 hit points, it rapidly decomposes into corrosive slime and noxious vapors filling a 10-foot cube. Creatures within the area of effect at the start of their turn must succeed a Constitution saving throw or suffer 1d10 damage and Disadvantage on rolls. The poison will dissipate naturally after one minute; a strong breeze will instantly disperse the fumes.


All sorts of danger lurk just beyond the reach of the explorer’s light, simultaneously attracted by the novelty and repelled by the brightness.

Number of Hit Dice: 1 – 10 (die type base on size), saves as a thief
Armor Class: Medium
Movement: Double normal human
Morale: Human-sized creatures have average moral; larger creatures will have higher morale and smaller creatures have lower morale.
Attack: unarmed strike (damage based on size)
Heightened Senses – The creature is completely unhindered by darkness or lightless conditions and is immune to blindness.

Aspect (roll 1d12, 1d3 times)
1 – Bloodthirsty: Has advantage on attack rolls against creatures that have less than half their maximum hit points.
2 – Creepy: Can move up, down, or across walls and ceilings at their normal speed.
3 – Deceptive: When the creature is motionless, it bestows disadvantage on perception checks to spot it.
4 – Eerie: Can imitate voices at will.
5 – Ferocious: In any round the creature doesn’t move, it can make an additional attack.
6 – Gangrel: Can squeeze through spaces as if they were a size category smaller and has advantage on rolls to escape from grapples.
7 – Horrifying: Can frighten a creature into unconscious (if the target succeeds a Wisdom saving throw, they are merely stunned for one round instead; a creature can only be affected by this ability once per 24 hours).
8 – Infected: The creature is host to a virulent disease; any living creature that touches or is touched by it must succeed a Constitution saving throw or… 1. …contract an agonizing wasting disease, 2. …contract a highly contagious hemorrhagic fever, 3. …fall into a coma, 4. …gradually transform into the same kind of creature that gave them the disease.
9 – Slavering: Constantly drips viscous saliva; gains a secondary attack to fling a gob of sticky drool to range of 30 feet. The liquid… 1. …burns like acid, 2. …sickens like poison, 3. …hardens into a sticky crust, 4. …induces powerful hallucinations.
10 – Tricksy: Has advantage on disable device and sleight of hand checks.
11 – Umbral: Light sources within a 10-foot radius of the creatures get dimmer by one step (bright > dim > dark).
12 – Winged: Creature can fly at half its normal movement rate.

Origin (1d6)
1 – Bestial Prodigy: A monster to be sure, but one that conforms to known principles of nature. When reduced to less than half its total hit points, the creature’s damage increases by one die size.
2 – Cthonic Incursion: An invader from a lightless, subterranean realm. The creature can burrow through the earth at half its normal movement rate.
3 – Cursed Mortal: An unfortunate soul struck down by an eldritch malady. At 0 hit points, the creature only appears to die and will revive in 24 hours.
4 – Spectral Manifestation: A visitor from a shadowy parallel dimension. As a reaction to being struck by a physical attack, the creature can turn intangible and negate any damage inflicted. After using this ability, it has a 1-in-6 chance of recharging each round.
5 – Twisted Fey: Fair folk turned foul. Non-magical attacks with weapons or objects not made of iron only deal half damage.
6 – Unidentifiable Abomination: “What the hell is that?!” Foes seeing the creature for the first time must succeed an Intelligence saving throw or be stunned for one round.

Size (2d6)
2-3 – Much smaller than a human (d4 hit die, 1d3 damage)
4-6 – Smaller than a human (d6 hit die, 1d4 damage)
7 – Human size (d8 hit die, 1d6 damage)
8-10 – Larger than a human (d10 hit die, 1d8 damage)
11-12 – Much larger than a human (d12 hit die, 1d10 damage)

Bright light… (1d6)
1 – …kills them (save or die)
2 – …harms them (1d6 damage per round)
3 – …scares them (save or flee)
4 – …impairs them (disadvantage on attacks, ability and skill rolls)
5 – …weakens them (deals half damage, moves at half speed)
6 – …enrages them (will attack light source first)

NEW SPELL: Mantle of Slates

Druid / Wizard (Conjuration)

Dinner plate-sized slabs of stone emblazoned with glowing symbols rise out of the ground and begin orbiting around you. You summon three slates plus an additional one for every four caster levels you possess.

While the spell is in effect, you gain a bonus to your Armor Class equal to the number of slates currently surrounding you.

As a ranged attack, you fling any or all of the slates at one or more targets you can see within 60 feet. A single slate can only strike one target, inflicts 1d6 bludgeoning damage on a hit, and is considered a magical weapon for the purposes of damage reduction. Once used as a projectile, the slate is destroyed.

Mantle of Slates lasts for three rounds plus one round per caster level, or until all the slates are gone.

College of Clowns (5E)


Beginning at 3rd level, when making an attack with an unarmed strike or improvised weapon, you can elect to deal no damage and instead impose the deafened, grappled, poisoned, or prone condition until the start of your next turn.

When making a slapstick attack, you are considered proficient with whatever item you’re using and add your Charisma modifier to the attack roll instead of your Strength or Dexterity.

Starting at 6th level, you can use comedy to help allies stave off adverse conditions.4wli
Whenever a creature that can see and hear you fails a saving throw, you can use your reaction to expend a use of Bardic Inspiration, rolling an Inspiration die and adding the number rolled to the creature’s saving throw result.

Also at 6th level, you can now inflict the charmed, blinded, or restrained condition with a successful slapstick attack.

At 14th level, you have learned a comedy routine so funny that a creature experiencing it will laugh itself to death.


As an action, you expend a use of Bardic Inspiration, roll an Inspiration die and add the number rolled to a Performance skill check. The target of the killing joke must make a Wisdom saving throw; if it doesn’t meet or beat your Performance roll, the target begins laughing so hard that it becomes paralyzed and takes 1dX Constitution damage, where X is equal to your Bardic Inspiration die. At the start of its next turn, the target can attempt another Wisdom saving throw to end the effect.

A creature that succeeds the Wisdom saving throw is stunned for a number of rounds equal to result of the Inspiration die roll and cannot be targeted by another killing joke for 24 hours.



Untitled, Zdzislaw Beksinski

Once, there were gods in the earth. Far past any mortal memory, they cavorted and roamed in the emerald dawn of the world. But they are gone now, and little evidence of their nature or their fate remains: cryptic pictograms, ruined megalithic structures, and the land-wights.


“They Have Slept in the Forest Too Long,” by Max Ernst

Loyal servitors, each land-wight was invested with a fraction of their creators’ divine power. Some slumber, dutifully waiting for their makers’ return. Others ceaselessly carry out the last task appointed to them. A rare few, the verdighast, have gone rogue.

No. appearing: Solitary
Hit Dice: Medium-sized 3-5, Large-sized 6-9, Huge-sized 10-14, Colossal 15+; saves as fighter.
Movement: as normal human; land-wights can also burrow through the ground at their normal movement speed.
Armor: Heavy; non-magical physical and elemental attacks deal half-damage.
Attack: unarmed strike x 2 (Medium 1d6, Large 1d8, Huge 1d10, Colossal 1d12)
Morale: High

Earth-power: Land-wights can cast spells from the following list as a druid of a level equivalent to their hit dice:

    • 1st: create or destroy water, entangle, healing word, speak with animals
    • 2nd: animal messenger, gust of wind, heat metal, spike growth
    • 3rd: plant growth, speak with plants, water walk
    • 4th: control water, ice storm, stone shape
    • 5th: commune with nature, wall of stone
    • 6th: move earth, wall of thorns



“Vorstclaw,” by Lucas Graciano

While most land-wights are content to placidly abide the march of time, either dormant or in tireless labor, some succumb to despair, while others cast off their conditioning. The result is the same: a verdighast, a being that simultaneously holds the whole world in contempt and covets it as a birthright.

Verdighast have the same statistics as land-wights, but they use their power in different, more destructive ways. They cast spells from the following list as a druid of a level equivalent to their hit dice:

    • 1st: create or destroy water, entangle, inflict wounds, speak with animals
    • 2nd: flaming sphere, gust of wind, heat metal, shatter
    • 3rd: call lightning, sleet storm, wind wall
    • 4th: blight, dominate beast, wall of fire
    • 5th: contagion, insect plague
    • 6th: circle of death, sunbeam

NEW SPELL: Wrathstone


Druid/Sorcerer (Evocation)

Tapping into your anger and aggression, you wrench a jagged shard of rock out of the ground and hurl it at a target you can see within 30 feet, plus 10 feet per caster level.

On a successful ranged spell attack, the wrathstone inflicts 1d6 bludgeoning damage per level and the target must succeed a Dexterity or Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

If the target had inflicted damage on you prior to casting the spell, you have Advantage on the ranged spell attack. When you cast this spell while you have less than half your maximum hit points, this spell inflicts 1d10 bludgeoning per caster level instead.

High Fantasy


Mildly addictive

The immature blossoms of the purple caladock, when roasted and steeped, produce a refreshingly tart beverage that helps stave off drowsiness.

Chewing raw caladock buds produces a burst of heightened alertness and focus (gain advantage on Initiative and Perception rolls), but causes uncontrollable twitching and fidgeting, and lavender-stained teeth (disadvantage on ability and skill rolls to perform tasks requiring patience or a steady hand).

Highly addictive

The sap of the icevine plant produces a cooling, analgesic effect useful for treating rashes and burns.

When the sap is boiled down to a waxy resin and smoked, it becomes a powerful anesthetic (reduce HP lost from injuries by 1d4), but causes numbness and flatness of affect (sufffer disadvantage on Charisma rolls). 

Not addictive guatemalan_insanity_pepper

Rumor has it that orcs eat thokka to bring on berserker rages. This is false – the finger-length, red and orange striped fruits are smoked and dried, then pulverized. The resulting powder is snorted, which causes the aforementioned rage (as a barbarian), but the user loses their sense of smell for twice as the rage lasted.

As for eating a raw thokka, survivors have described the experience as “nightmarish.” Orcs joke that it burns you twice: “First fire comes out your mouth, later out your ass.”

Highly addictive

Also known as angel’s breath, huff is a potent hallucinogen made from grievous angel trumpet mushrooms. The fleshy, mottled gray fungi are mashed into a paste, which is heated, releasing a noxious vapor. When inhaled, the vapors induce a wide variety of psychedelic effects: audio-visual hallucinations, floating or levitating sensations, sometimes even catatonia.


illustration by Kit Roebuck

Carried aloft on the vapor are infectious spores that settle in the lungs. On a failed Constitution saving throw, a user loses 1d4 Constitution as fungus begins to spread through out their body. From now on, they lose another 1d4 Constitution everytime they use huff (no save). At 0 Constitution, the infected person transforms into an ambulatory colony of mycelium.

AC: 8, HP: A quarter of what they had when alive, Move 20 ft., Atk unarmed strike +2 (1d6 damage)


Moon Jelly
Moderately addictive (highly addictive for magic-users)

A viscous, opalescent goo that amplifies psychic powers. When ingested, a person with no magical abilities can detect thoughts (as the spell) until the drug wears off in 1d4 hours. For magic-users, moon jelly can increase the potency of their spells (one dose increases effective caster level of their next spell by 1) and expand their capacity for arcane comprehension (one dose can restore a spell already cast in the last 24 hours).

A magic-user addicted to moon jelly must include the substance as a material component for all their spells.

Moon jelly is actually the excrement of a dream-feaster.



“Bleeder,” Walter Oltmann

Floating silently, a vaguely humanoid network of blood vessels throbs in time to the pulsing organ at its center.

AC: 16, immune to bludgeoning damage, disease, and poison, and resistant to piercing damage
HP: 21 (6d6); saves as a magic-user
Movement: fly 60 ft.; a vascular wraith can squeeze through spaces as small as 1 square foot
Morale: High
Attack: can make 2 unarmed strikes, melee +6 (10 ft reach; 1d4 damage and the wraith regains an equal amount of HP)


  • Arterial Spray: Whenever a vascular wraith takes slashing damage, all creatures adjacent to it must succeed a Dexterity saving throw or be drenched in blood and suffer Disadvantage on all attack rolls, ability rolls, and skill checks for 1 round.
  • Exsanguinating Embrace: Instead of attacking, a vascular wraith can attempt to attach itself to an adjacent, living creature. The target must succeed an opposed Dexterity check or become enveloped by the wraith. While embracing a creature, the wraith drains 1d6 Constitution each round on its turn, but can take no other actions. The victim can move at half speed, has Disadvantage on all rolls, and deals half damage with their attacks. A successful opposed Strength check will remove the wraith, as will dropping it to 0 HP.
  • Grisly Sight: A character seeing a vascular wraith for the first time must succeed a Wisdom saving throw or be unable to act for 1 round.
  • Heart of the Matter: The still-beating heart of a vascular wraith is its weak point. Dealing damage equivalent to a quarter of the wraith’s total HP directly to the heart will instantly destroy the creature.

The origins of these gruesome entities are unknown. Most hypotheses tie them to vampires – that perhaps they are the vengeful shades of person killed by a vampire, or the ghost of a vampire itself. Another, more esoteric explanation is that they are some kind of ‘blood elemental.’



NEW SPELL: Gravel Blast

Evocation Cantrip
You cause a 5-foot-by-5-foot patch of ground within 30 feet to energetically erupt, tossing soil and stone into the air.

A creature standing in that area must succeed a Dexterity saving throw or takes 1d4 damage from flying debris and is thrown backwards 5 feet for every point of damage suffered. Creatures larger than Medium-size gain Advantage on their saving throw.

With each casting of the spell, you can cause one eruption plus an additional one for every 3 caster levels. Multiple eruptions occur simultaneously.

VARIATION: If you don’t like and/or use cantrips, you could make this a 1st-level spell by bumping up the number of eruptions to one per caster level.

Which Pissant Noble am I Talking To?

Normally, there are many layers of functionaries and factotums that prevent the aristocracy from getting within spitting distance of people as disreputable as adventurers. But, whether through dumb luck or deliberate shenanigans, the PCs may find themselves face to face with one or members of high society.

To generate an upper-class twit, roll 3d20.

D20 Roll

First name, Female First name, Male Noble House Rich Person Nonsense They Won’t Shut Up About


Alianor Auberic Asmodi Making miniature furniture for dioramas


Basilissa Bort Balagaga Falconry


Bruticia Bromulus Blumslow Experimenting with electricity


Citrinita Calastor Charivari Cocaine


Delephine Drystan Dunclop Erotic etchings


Dratlana Eephus Ermengard The latest canto of the epic poem they’re writing


Erzegund Fleurian Fitzwark Competitive orchid cultivation


Frangelique Gormsley Guisarme Their extensive wine-cellar


Gorgonetta Hinkard Hurdivant International finance


Hildegrine Indrid Kakarov Clockwork automata


Irlanis Jedward Le Bont The artist they’re patronizing


Javelinda Jobias Mackelay Their feud with another noble family


Lazuli Maldivio Nethersby Their feud with their own family


Lynira Niflas Ombrego Betting on bumfights


Marbeline Oxton Pleurgeron Why peasants deserve to be treated better


Nephilia Phinster Quence Why peasants are treated exactly as they deserve


Ornella Scarlon Slayle The ongoing renovations of their manor


Sibylis Theobald Tant The health benefits of their ridiculous diet


Tartine Vespio Utherelm Creating historical tableau with taxidermied animals 


Zinerva Weymund Vargulli A new, absurdly complex beauty regimen