College of Clowns (5E)

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SLAPSTICK
Beginning at 3rd level, when making an attack with an unarmed strike or improvised weapon, you can elect to deal no damage and instead impose the deafened, grappled, poisoned, or prone condition until the start of your next turn.

When making a slapstick attack, you are considered proficient with whatever item you’re using and add your Charisma modifier to the attack roll instead of your Strength or Dexterity.

LAUGH TO KEEP FROM CRYING
Starting at 6th level, you can use comedy to help allies stave off adverse conditions.4wli
Whenever a creature that can see and hear you fails a saving throw, you can use your reaction to expend a use of Bardic Inspiration, rolling an Inspiration die and adding the number rolled to the creature’s saving throw result.

EXPANDED SHTICK
Also at 6th level, you can now inflict the charmed, blinded, or restrained condition with a successful slapstick attack.

KILLING JOKE
At 14th level, you have learned a comedy routine so funny that a creature experiencing it will laugh itself to death.

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As an action, you expend a use of Bardic Inspiration, roll an Inspiration die and add the number rolled to a Performance skill check. The target of the killing joke must make a Wisdom saving throw; if it doesn’t meet or beat your Performance roll, the target begins laughing so hard that it becomes paralyzed and takes 1dX Constitution damage, where X is equal to your Bardic Inspiration die. At the start of its next turn, the target can attempt another Wisdom saving throw to end the effect.

A creature that succeeds the Wisdom saving throw is stunned for a number of rounds equal to result of the Inspiration die roll and cannot be targeted by another killing joke for 24 hours.

LAND-WIGHTS

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Untitled, Zdzislaw Beksinski

Once, there were gods in the earth. Far past any mortal memory, they cavorted and roamed in the emerald dawn of the world. But they are gone now, and little evidence of their nature or their fate remains: cryptic pictograms, ruined megalithic structures, and the land-wights.

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“They Have Slept in the Forest Too Long,” by Max Ernst

Loyal servitors, each land-wight was invested with a fraction of their creators’ divine power. Some slumber, dutifully waiting for their makers’ return. Others ceaselessly carry out the last task appointed to them. A rare few, the verdighast, have gone rogue.

No. appearing: Solitary
Hit Dice: Medium-sized 3-5, Large-sized 6-9, Huge-sized 10-14, Colossal 15+; saves as fighter.
Movement: as normal human; land-wights can also burrow through the ground at their normal movement speed.
Armor: Heavy; non-magical physical and elemental attacks deal half-damage.
Attack: unarmed strike x 2 (Medium 1d6, Large 1d8, Huge 1d10, Colossal 1d12)
Morale: High
Special:

Earth-power: Land-wights can cast spells from the following list as a druid of a level equivalent to their hit dice:

    • 1st: create or destroy water, entangle, healing word, speak with animals
    • 2nd: animal messenger, gust of wind, heat metal, spike growth
    • 3rd: plant growth, speak with plants, water walk
    • 4th: control water, ice storm, stone shape
    • 5th: commune with nature, wall of stone
    • 6th: move earth, wall of thorns

VERDIGHAST

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“Vorstclaw,” by Lucas Graciano

While most land-wights are content to placidly abide the march of time, either dormant or in tireless labor, some succumb to despair, while others cast off their conditioning. The result is the same: a verdighast, a being that simultaneously holds the whole world in contempt and covets it as a birthright.

Verdighast have the same statistics as land-wights, but they use their power in different, more destructive ways. They cast spells from the following list as a druid of a level equivalent to their hit dice:

    • 1st: create or destroy water, entangle, inflict wounds, speak with animals
    • 2nd: flaming sphere, gust of wind, heat metal, shatter
    • 3rd: call lightning, sleet storm, wind wall
    • 4th: blight, dominate beast, wall of fire
    • 5th: contagion, insect plague
    • 6th: circle of death, sunbeam